I made a commitment to something several years ago. This commitment is one I've been great at at times and a total failure at others. I committed to simply respect my husband. This came about during a very rough time in our marriage. Eliot would say, "You don't respect me." I would say, "You aren't my dad." Turns out we had very different views on respect. I thought it meant "yessir/nosir" kind of stuff but he only meant trust, admiration and faith that he was doing the right thing. Looking back on those days makes me cringe. We were at a Bible study one afternoon with our Life Group at the time. We were asked to find a verse in the Bible that meant something to us and explain why. Everyone went around the room and recited their verse and it was lovely. Until it came to Eliot. His verse was Proverbs 27:15: "A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day." Now, don't get me wrong, we all had a great laugh, including myself, but it struck something in me. Not anger or embarrassment or revenge but just downright sadness. As much as I knew Eliot was being just...well.. Eliot, I also knew it was true. I was a constant dripping on a rainy day.
I complained about time spent together or money or our living situation or what shows we watched or his time with his guitar or.... The list goes on and on. I'll be the first to admit I have only child syndrome even though I grew up with two older brothers in the house. I kind of had this "You jump when I say" mentality. Again, I cringe at the thought of those days. I decided to change my attitude and see the great things about this man I married and the blessings that God had placed in our lives. I began to see that Eliot being frugal was a way for us to have financial security and his "quiet time" or guitar time was a way for him to have a healthy level of sanity which in turn ensured the same for me. I started to see my husband for the amazing person he is. I read the book "Power of a Praying Wife" and adopted the attitude of "shut up and pray". This opened up a new world in my prayer life along with a newfound respect for my man. In short, I learned how to love him the way HE needed to be loved: through respect and admiration. The closer I looked the easier it became to find reasons to give him these two things. The domino effect that followed this turn of mind was astounding. The relationship that we developed was more than I could have ever imagined. For the first time since we were married I was able to look at our union the way God had intended: A picture of the relationship between Christ and His church. In short, God put this man in my life to protect me, guide me and love me so I should sit back and let that happen.
So WHY am I ranting about this now? WELL, I have found myself back to dripping. Having a baby and cutting one income out of our budget has brought out some not-so-great attitudes and I feel very convicted. You see, God didn't say "Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord but only when it is easy and convenient for you." No. He said in Ephesians 5:22 "Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord." The end. I'm challenging myself to get back to the wife God calls me to be and Eliot NEEDS me to be. My prayer is that God will mold me into the wife Eliot needs and not what my selfish nature or the world tells me I should be. I believe that a woman's calling to be a Godly wife is beautiful. I believe that God sees it as beautiful. I believe caring for my husband the way he needs is beautiful and I pray that I am able to do that. I am committing, yet again, to meet the challenge that God has set before me.
~Proverbs 31:10-12~
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
