Open the Eyes of My Heart

When I was pregnant with Harris I had these grande ideas of what I would teach and show him. I couldn't wait to impart my vast knowledge and wisdom unto him. (didn't know I was so wise, huh?) Needless to say, I have learned over the last 15 months that the things I thought I knew were nothing compared to the things I have been taught since 6-23-10. I have had the most amazing teacher and while this educator has been less than patient with me, I'd say his methods have been effective. I suppose you're wondering who this crafty guide is. That would be Harris.

This little person who entered my world like a tornado has taught me so much about life, relationships and myself. It just occurred to me that I have grown so much in the last year but not in just the typical "I've matured" manner. I see things totally different now and I have to give credit where credit is due. I've always heard parenting changes who you are from the inside out ("out" meaning the lovely stretch marks I now wear with pride) and that couldn't be more true. I see the world as though the eyes of my heart have been opened.

Harris has taught me to slow down and literally smell the flowers. I find myself enjoying nature in a way I never have before and maybe that's because I've never had to use the things God has provided to entertain a toddler. Thank you GOD for flowers and water and trees and grass. Seriously, thank you. He has also taught me to slow down and see people. I've always been a people watcher but I've never really taken the time to talk to a waiter about how many bananas we go through a week or to a random stranger on the beach about the importance of interaction between children and teaching them to share. With Harris around, there is ALWAYS a conversation to be had. Just this morning, we shared a Prince dance party with a room full of people in the hotel restaurant at 7:00 am. These types of things just didn't happen before Harris. (I mean, have you seen this child dance?) I have also learned to be patient with people. Now, I'm still working hard on this one because I have a short fuse but I believe I've made leaps and bounds from where I was. Why? I don't want my child to learn its ok to complain over petty things to restaurant employees when they tell him they don't really have time to get him a cookie and then listen to her huff and puff while she prepares said cookie. It happened. To me. Panera on Eastern Blvd BUT that's neither here nor there.... I want him to learn patience with people. Mama's got a short fuse and he's teaching me how to reign it in.

This parenting thing is the most beautiful challenge God has ever put before me. It's so hard, but through my sweet Harris I'm learning so much about who I was and who I need to be. Of course, Harris isn't the teacher at all. God has placed him in my life as a tool to teach, train and guide me. I pray that I am, in turn, the tool in Harris' life doing the same for him.